isn't it about, time?

its about time for some real pictures, from a real camera, dontcha think?

i braved the black Friday crazies and bought a new camera. nothing fancy, its pretty much just a point-and-shoot, but its 1000x better than before. so yay! new pictures.

i know this one is waaaay grainy.... but how cute is my baby??? i love her.

we went and played outside today- end of November and still lots of sunshine? i'll take it!

this kid is awesome. also, crazy. but i love him.

we miss our daddy.

we are already halfway through, yay!

and we found out, Joe will be learning CHINESE, 

which means after about a year and a half in CA,

we will head to 

HAWAII!!!

hopefully :)

things could always change, but that is the plan for right now.

of course, seriously sad that family will be so far away,

but i mean, its hawaii. 

which also means, come and visit- you have a place to stay! 

start saving those pennies :)

Grateful, torn, happy, and missing

This one makes my world go 'round.

So do the others, but in her own special way, the Evie girl makes life a sparkling, happy place.

I have a little secret. I am ready to share it, now that I have an idea. Are you ready?

I have always wanted to write a book.

Any book. Children's, a novel, essays, just something! And just one. One little book, for this gigantic world to catch a glimpse into this funny life of mine.

And I was finally hit with an idea. We'll see if it works out.

I have already gained five pounds and thanksgiving isn't until tomorrow. Yikes.....

I miss my husband.

I talked to him twice this week! And hopefully again on Saturday. But now we have a happy, and gut-wrenching decision to make. One that will affect our lives and children's lives in a very dramatic way.

Tell me, how does one choose between paradise, and living somewhat closer to family? Tell me. Because traveling this world is a dream, but so is having my children know their grandparents. 

How does one choose? 

Every conversation, any time spent pondering, all the research has landed me back where I started, and perhaps we will have to flip a coin.

I am so nervous.

My family will all gather together tomorrow, and for this I am so grateful. This is unfortunately rarer than I would like, and within a few months will become extremely rare. So today I am so happy this is happening.

And we have already feasted plenty.

Little genius

This picture almost brought me to tears

Claire wrote out her name by herself, no help from me.

I often feel frustrated and stuck with Claire, because I want to teach her, but sometimes we butt heads. She is so stubborn! And then she sometimes gets bored..... So I sometimes think she isn't learning anything. 

So, this little reminder made me feel tons better that things are sticking with her, and to just keep on doing what we are doing. She'll get there. 

Although, that stubbornness will probably never go away.

Just speaking from experience here :)

Learning and bonding

The pirate, digging for treasure?

I used to think I did pretty well with the male species.

In high school, I sometimes would find myself hanging out with the guys because I thought what they were doing was way more fun. And less drama. 

And I got a boy to marry me, and stick with me despite my craziness.

But when I found out I was having a boy, I freaked out inside because I don't know how to raise a boy! (And because I ate 2 hamburgers everyday while preggers with him-sick!)  I mean, I wanted a boy first so I could have joe pass along his seed and get it over with, and then girls! But then when I had him, I remember telling joe, I don't know what to do with a boy? And he said- just make sure to point it down.

Ha! 

Being all sick and single-motherly, my awesome mom has stayed at my house more times than not lately, (thank you!) and taken a kid or two away for a night (or two) (thank you!) so I can get some extra sleep. Today my mom snatched up Claire and so it was me and the bubs all day and this evening. And he reminded me how fun doing boy things is.

We laughed and laughed, like all afternoon. And I smiled the biggest, most genuine smile in more than three weeks. The things we did were making me happy and him happy in the purest, simplest, most joyful ways. And his little mannerisms just melted me. His big blue eyes just exactly like his dad, and that look I can't say no to, it was all just tugging at my heart. He wanted to sit with me, but is so wiggly, snuggling happens and then play, snuggle then play, snuggle then play. 

And- I finally figured out the trick to get him to fall asleep without a fight! This is HUGE people. 

Read our "books with daddy" then pull up the scriptures app, hit play and start rubbing his back while we listen to the Book of Mormon. And he is out before the chapter is over, like a sleeping spell. 

(Watching too many fairy tale movies and shows....) 

He is just more proof Heavenly Father knows what we need, when we need it, you know? Each and every single thing in my life shows me that, but this is like a huge blinking sign pointing out that someone out there is really watching over us all. So incredibly blessed.

So, now I know. Don't worry about what to do. He will let me know what he needs (i just need to listen,and act.) Find comfort in the scriptures-there is some good stuff in there. And, laughing about silly bears (and everything silly) will heal the soul.

Evalyn Jayne

This girl. She is incredible.

She is my light right now. 

She gives me hope. I love, love, love all my kids, and equally, but miss Evie Jayne right at this moment is peace. She is joy, love, and calm. She is innocent, pure, and beautiful.

She is so giving, even for a baby. She draws you in with her smile, wraps you up in her giggle, and you literally have to peel yourself away.

Her name means life, and she truly is full of it. (Jayne or Jane means God is gracious, also so fitting!)

And, she is a champion sleeper. Couldn't ask for anything more.  

Gratitude

2 weeks down, 6 to go.

This boy needs more male influence in his life while daddy is away! 

It's been so busy, and exhausting, I haven't been blogging. 

But it's been good busy. And for that I am grateful.

Here's my November gratitude list, because I'm sure I won't get around to it later, but I have more i am blessed with than can ever be said.

The gospel- knowledge of my savior, his atonement, and the blessing of being able to be sealed to my family because of it.

My family- my husband and all of his awesomeness, my children and the joy and hope they give me, my parents, siblings, and in-laws and all the love and support they freely offer.

My health- I haveit so good. I need to remember to treat my body better than I have been, but Amos glad I have no significant health problems to speak of. (Sometimes spotty vision, less-than-perfect hearing, and hips that swing funny when I walk aside :)

My home- we have a warm, comfortable home that has been so good for us. we live in a beautiful part of the country, surrounded by good people, and have been safe from any Mother Nature related disasters. We have clean, running water, heat and air conditioning, and electricity for every plug-in we could need.

Good, fresh food available down the street. A car to go get food, and means to prepare the food for my family. 

Every conceivable means of communication available at my fingertips. 

Transportation to any place I could desire, in comfort, and at any speed.

Books. And more books. The written word is such a powerful tool that I often take for granted.

A sense of humor.

Music, to soothe, uplift, encourage, entertain, rejuvenate, and enrich. 

Clothing for every condition. Blankets for extra warmth at night. A soft pillow to lay my head on.

Playgrounds for children to play on, grass to roll around in, and toys to play with.

Photos to remind us of the past, and capture the beauty that surrounds.

And once again, for my husband. He is sacrificing so much for my family and this country, and I miss him so stinking much. Extra squeezes for your loved ones, ok?

Celebrity "crush"

Obviously I don't have a crush on them, but meeting Sara and Kate of the 

Our best bites blog and cookbooks

Was pretty stinking awesome.

I attended the Saturday sessions of time out for women and they were speakers there.

As we were walking to the elevator in our hotel that morning Sara just happened to walk up at the same time. Knowing it was her, I got really excited. we talked with her for a minute while we rode down, and then sara was meeting up with Kate in the lobby, so I sheepishly asked if we could take a picture.

I felt like a total goober, and I really was, but as I told my sister, if I hadnt taken a picture with them, I would have totally regretted it.

Oh, and they were awesome, along with the rest of the speakers. Just what I needed to hear :)

I am so weird. But I'm not sorry. Instead of aspiring to be like some crazy, ridiculous Hollywood star I will never look like, act like, or dress like, I would way rather be like those awesome ladies, who are wonderful, REAL mothers who don't hide the fact that life really isn't perfect. 

happy girl

I took the kidlets to our favorite doctor today.

(I seriously don't know how I will have another kid without him being my doctor. Ugh.)

They did great, until the shots. 

Ohhhhh man. Claire acted like I had betrayed her in the worst possible way. It was a screaming, crying group of banshees i dragged out the door. Big sis requested a grilled cheese sandwich. With YELLOW cheese. That girl.

Ev on the other hand, she was a champ (except for the 30 seconds she was purple in the face from the shot, then back to normal). Comment after comment about how happy she was from every person who looked at her. She is really good at getting attention and entertaining everyone.

Love hanging out with her. She hands out smiles and giggles comstantly, and it's practically impossible to put her down once she wraps you around her finger.

And, you know I think she is adorable, and I'm told she looks like me, so it makes me think I must have been pretty cute too. Ha! 

my loves

we finally got around to taking some family photos on Sunday. 

i was antsy and stressed before we got there.

i bought a pair of jeans just for the photos for claire, but she hated them and i couldnt find them that morning. i was upset. realllllly upset.

but then it didnt matter. joe was leaving. and we couldnt stand a moment of unhappiness, so we forgot about it, and laughed about the leaves that kep sticking to her leggings on her bum.

and now, joe is gone for 2 months. i was doing fine until monday night, cried a river. tuesday, that was a waterfall. the puffy eyes wouldnt go away.

but today we are getting past it. its only two months. two months filled with lots of good things, and happy times ahead. yesterday, if i thought about it longer than about a minute i would start gushing tears and felt like i couldnt breathe. but its better today. today i laughed a bunch with the kids, and thought about what a blessing it is that joe gets to do this. it is only 2 months, and things wil be fine. we recorded messages on the ipad from joe to the kids, and we recorded him reading some books.

more pics to come!

This boy

He is giving me a run for my money right now

He can be so cute, snuggly and happy one second

And screaming and hitting his sister (claire, not evie) the next.

He is loud. Like so LOUD. He constantly has noise coming from his mouth. Like joe and I were driving with just him in the car the other day and it was 45 minutes of non-stop mooing. 

But I love him.

It took almost ten minutes of explaining to my parents how to put him down for bed. It is a battle with that kid to get him to go to sleep. And then he is up and ready to go at 5:30 AM.

He always prefer joe do everything, before me.

Everything is all about daddy.

He has to have his back rubbed, hand under his shirt, til he falls asleep.

He is soooooo his father's child.

Which will help while his father is gone. Having little bubba is like having part of joe with me while he will be gone for 2 months.

Love my boys.