silence. 'tis golden.

i am enjoying this brief moment of silence. joe is napping without snoring. claire is asleep away up in her crib. the heater isn't running, the fridge is taking a break, and the neighbors seem to be gone. no kids outside, all is still. i have a moment to meditate. and i'm thinking right now about the choices we make. i made a choice three years ago to date my best friend, and now i have the most precious daughter one could ask for, and another child on the way. the lesson in sunday school today was about abraham and when he was asked to sacrifice issac. claire was asleep peacefully in my arms, and i wasn't fully paying attention until the teacher asked the class what we would do if we had to sacrifice our child. i basically starting bawling as i blurted, this child in my arms? and i can't quite stop thinking about it. it was mentioned that most of us would willingly give up ourselves to save the child, but sometimes that is not what the Lord wants. how could i do that? then the lesson in yw was about forgiveness, and i spent a lot of time thinking about how we need to remember those times we've been forgiven, and the sacrifice our savior performed that we might be forgiven the things we do. but, in order to forgive, we must make that choice. we must ask that the Savior take away those feelings, and rise above it. He must be involved.

what that all boils down to is this: i know i'm not a perfect mother. but i'm working on it. the things i pondered today give me hope that i can become better. and spring is on the way, which makes me happy. the end.