isn't it about, time?

its about time for some real pictures, from a real camera, dontcha think?

i braved the black Friday crazies and bought a new camera. nothing fancy, its pretty much just a point-and-shoot, but its 1000x better than before. so yay! new pictures.

i know this one is waaaay grainy.... but how cute is my baby??? i love her.

we went and played outside today- end of November and still lots of sunshine? i'll take it!

this kid is awesome. also, crazy. but i love him.

we miss our daddy.

we are already halfway through, yay!

and we found out, Joe will be learning CHINESE, 

which means after about a year and a half in CA,

we will head to 

HAWAII!!!

hopefully :)

things could always change, but that is the plan for right now.

of course, seriously sad that family will be so far away,

but i mean, its hawaii. 

which also means, come and visit- you have a place to stay! 

start saving those pennies :)

Grateful, torn, happy, and missing

This one makes my world go 'round.

So do the others, but in her own special way, the Evie girl makes life a sparkling, happy place.

I have a little secret. I am ready to share it, now that I have an idea. Are you ready?

I have always wanted to write a book.

Any book. Children's, a novel, essays, just something! And just one. One little book, for this gigantic world to catch a glimpse into this funny life of mine.

And I was finally hit with an idea. We'll see if it works out.

I have already gained five pounds and thanksgiving isn't until tomorrow. Yikes.....

I miss my husband.

I talked to him twice this week! And hopefully again on Saturday. But now we have a happy, and gut-wrenching decision to make. One that will affect our lives and children's lives in a very dramatic way.

Tell me, how does one choose between paradise, and living somewhat closer to family? Tell me. Because traveling this world is a dream, but so is having my children know their grandparents. 

How does one choose? 

Every conversation, any time spent pondering, all the research has landed me back where I started, and perhaps we will have to flip a coin.

I am so nervous.

My family will all gather together tomorrow, and for this I am so grateful. This is unfortunately rarer than I would like, and within a few months will become extremely rare. So today I am so happy this is happening.

And we have already feasted plenty.

Little genius

This picture almost brought me to tears

Claire wrote out her name by herself, no help from me.

I often feel frustrated and stuck with Claire, because I want to teach her, but sometimes we butt heads. She is so stubborn! And then she sometimes gets bored..... So I sometimes think she isn't learning anything. 

So, this little reminder made me feel tons better that things are sticking with her, and to just keep on doing what we are doing. She'll get there. 

Although, that stubbornness will probably never go away.

Just speaking from experience here :)

Learning and bonding

The pirate, digging for treasure?

I used to think I did pretty well with the male species.

In high school, I sometimes would find myself hanging out with the guys because I thought what they were doing was way more fun. And less drama. 

And I got a boy to marry me, and stick with me despite my craziness.

But when I found out I was having a boy, I freaked out inside because I don't know how to raise a boy! (And because I ate 2 hamburgers everyday while preggers with him-sick!)  I mean, I wanted a boy first so I could have joe pass along his seed and get it over with, and then girls! But then when I had him, I remember telling joe, I don't know what to do with a boy? And he said- just make sure to point it down.

Ha! 

Being all sick and single-motherly, my awesome mom has stayed at my house more times than not lately, (thank you!) and taken a kid or two away for a night (or two) (thank you!) so I can get some extra sleep. Today my mom snatched up Claire and so it was me and the bubs all day and this evening. And he reminded me how fun doing boy things is.

We laughed and laughed, like all afternoon. And I smiled the biggest, most genuine smile in more than three weeks. The things we did were making me happy and him happy in the purest, simplest, most joyful ways. And his little mannerisms just melted me. His big blue eyes just exactly like his dad, and that look I can't say no to, it was all just tugging at my heart. He wanted to sit with me, but is so wiggly, snuggling happens and then play, snuggle then play, snuggle then play. 

And- I finally figured out the trick to get him to fall asleep without a fight! This is HUGE people. 

Read our "books with daddy" then pull up the scriptures app, hit play and start rubbing his back while we listen to the Book of Mormon. And he is out before the chapter is over, like a sleeping spell. 

(Watching too many fairy tale movies and shows....) 

He is just more proof Heavenly Father knows what we need, when we need it, you know? Each and every single thing in my life shows me that, but this is like a huge blinking sign pointing out that someone out there is really watching over us all. So incredibly blessed.

So, now I know. Don't worry about what to do. He will let me know what he needs (i just need to listen,and act.) Find comfort in the scriptures-there is some good stuff in there. And, laughing about silly bears (and everything silly) will heal the soul.

Evalyn Jayne

This girl. She is incredible.

She is my light right now. 

She gives me hope. I love, love, love all my kids, and equally, but miss Evie Jayne right at this moment is peace. She is joy, love, and calm. She is innocent, pure, and beautiful.

She is so giving, even for a baby. She draws you in with her smile, wraps you up in her giggle, and you literally have to peel yourself away.

Her name means life, and she truly is full of it. (Jayne or Jane means God is gracious, also so fitting!)

And, she is a champion sleeper. Couldn't ask for anything more.  

Gratitude

2 weeks down, 6 to go.

This boy needs more male influence in his life while daddy is away! 

It's been so busy, and exhausting, I haven't been blogging. 

But it's been good busy. And for that I am grateful.

Here's my November gratitude list, because I'm sure I won't get around to it later, but I have more i am blessed with than can ever be said.

The gospel- knowledge of my savior, his atonement, and the blessing of being able to be sealed to my family because of it.

My family- my husband and all of his awesomeness, my children and the joy and hope they give me, my parents, siblings, and in-laws and all the love and support they freely offer.

My health- I haveit so good. I need to remember to treat my body better than I have been, but Amos glad I have no significant health problems to speak of. (Sometimes spotty vision, less-than-perfect hearing, and hips that swing funny when I walk aside :)

My home- we have a warm, comfortable home that has been so good for us. we live in a beautiful part of the country, surrounded by good people, and have been safe from any Mother Nature related disasters. We have clean, running water, heat and air conditioning, and electricity for every plug-in we could need.

Good, fresh food available down the street. A car to go get food, and means to prepare the food for my family. 

Every conceivable means of communication available at my fingertips. 

Transportation to any place I could desire, in comfort, and at any speed.

Books. And more books. The written word is such a powerful tool that I often take for granted.

A sense of humor.

Music, to soothe, uplift, encourage, entertain, rejuvenate, and enrich. 

Clothing for every condition. Blankets for extra warmth at night. A soft pillow to lay my head on.

Playgrounds for children to play on, grass to roll around in, and toys to play with.

Photos to remind us of the past, and capture the beauty that surrounds.

And once again, for my husband. He is sacrificing so much for my family and this country, and I miss him so stinking much. Extra squeezes for your loved ones, ok?