sweet baby evie

i cannot get enough of sweet baby evie lately. she is always up for a snuggle, has no desire whatsoever to sit on her own, and is always smiling and laughing. (unless hungry or tired. and cover your ears if she is both. remember, brewer genes!)

still working on the slow, slow process of scanning, saving, uploading my baby photos. but i have been thinking so much about my love and obsession over miss evalyn jayne while doing this,

i feel like, this baby, she is MINE. my mini-me. she is number three, like i was. she has the dark(er) hair that i did. and she brings peace, which is all i ever want.

the above picture is me, with evie's namesake: my dad's sweet mother Evalyn Bowerman (she passed away 13 years ago when i was just 11). i keep doing a double take looking at it because evie looks so much like i did. this is normal to so many people, but i never, ever thought that i would have a child look like me after having caleb and claire. it sounds so silly, and it is, and i realize that i just shouldnt care, but i have dreamed and dreamed of having MY child. some people say claire looks like me; i can hardly see past the while blonde hair so i dont know.

oh anyways. loving little evie. i am feeling like a failure with her right now; i nursed her for the last time last night. for some reason my milk supply decided to just go away, and it is killing me. long story short, i feel it is best for her, for my sanity, and the sakes of my other children that she get formula. i have enough stored that she will get some pumped milk every day until she is 6 months old (next week!) which makes me feel a little better. i promised myself that in order to be "fair" i would nurse all my babies until at least six months. any longer is lucky for them......

anywho. the last few times she has really struggled with it, but last night i decided it would be the last time, and she was so content the whole time, and drifted off to sleep seeming so happy. (okay i am bawling now, why am i so emotional about this???? ) she seemed to be telling me that it was okay. so here we are, im done nursing. and now, hopefully i can shed a few pounds. ha!

love that girl.