so i don't have a gallbladder

one might ask, "how does that feel?"

i don't know. i've got too many pain meds pumping through me to really give you an answer. but i have since learned laproscopic gallbladder removal is one of the more common surgeries performed. whew. i'll spare you the nasty pictures of the stones... some of the nurses were even surprised at the number squished in there. 

so joe and i had some time before i was to be wheeled in, and we were talking, and lindsay texted me telling me that i better have something funny to say when i come out of it..... welp she hasn't blogged any of the stories so i guess i shall. first, a picture:

i was treated to a "leg massage" for about 7 hours. to keep that blood pumping. more like a blood pressure cuff going on every other leg constantly. speaking of, i happen to have "low" blood pressure, so they kept putting more IV fluid in me, and then increasing it even more. i have just barely stopped having to pee every ten minutes.

Story #1

the above picture is the ONLY picture taken, because you can't wear any makeup in surgery. absolutely none. or metal. so no wedding ring. i was looking HOT in the gown, those leg massagers, surgical hat, especially with no makeup, sleepy and puffy eyes. tubes sticking out every direction. i was half asleep before we even got to the surgery part. get the picture? so i'm out of it, my nurse is wheeling me down the hallway to the OR, i'm just minding my own business looking straight ahead, embarrassed as heck that a dozen people are about to see me nakey, and this row of orderlies is sitting there, waiting to go in with a patient. then one named Baden (i will never forget this as long as i live) gets up to help wheel me in. my nurse behind me says, "this is baden, he is going to be your orderly today," and i nod and see on his name tag that yes, his name is indeed baden. then one of the other orderlies shouts out "hey baden, are you gonna ask her out on a date later?!" 

yep. he really did yell that in front of everyone. i was kinda just in shock trying to say something back, i didn't have my ring on so i couldn't just flash it at the guy. my nurse came to my rescue and just told them to back off, shes married. baden wouldn't look at me. kept his head down the whole time. i was embarrassed for him, so i closed my eyes and was asleep before they even got the meds going. 

story #2 (this one isn't as funny... but funny to remember it)

i woke up super confused from the surgery. i'm blinking in all the bright lights, and all i can hear is tons of moaning. i can't really move, or talk, and i still have the oxygen mask on. then i hear yelling and more moaning. there was a lady next to me yelling her head off, she was terribly confused. it was 9:54. for the next 32 minutes i had to listen to this lady ask where her husband was, what is going on, where is the doctor, how did everything go, and moan after agonizing moan. i just wanted to yell at her to shut up, but i could hardly talk. i was so close to asking my nurse to get me out of there, it was that ridiculous. being wheeled into my own quiet room was bliss after all that noise. 

*let it be known i HATE going to the bathroom. i hate having people knowing i'm doing my business. and i HATE that everyone has to know when and how much i've done when in the hospital. so this next story is that much worse.*

story #3

i had to pee, so i get the nurse to unhook me enough to get up and walk to the bathroom. joe goes in there with me, for moral support. after getting settled, he tells me to look at him, don't worry just look away from the wall. so naturally i look at the wall, and there is this ginormous white, nasty spider climbing everywhere. i start yelling at him to get it, and he calmly grabs a paper towel and gets it in the garbage. i HATE spiders, and the fact that there was one in a hospital was kind of terrifying. so naturally i was beyond freaked out at this point, and tell joe that it is going to get out of the garbage can and come back to eat me. (he is laughing to himself at this point, trying to stay rational with me) what possessed me to tell him that, i'm not sure, but i knew its real desire. sure enough, the next thing i know i am yelling as loudly as i can because the spider's brother was crawling next to my foot. joe took care of that one also, but it took some convincing that it was a different spider, with me whimpering about it coming to eat me.

i couldn't pee after that. and when i did, we used the other bathroom. 

*******

that was probably way TMI, but there you go. my surgery experience.